So i find it ironic that March is National Social Work month.
Way to pick the month where mania is off.the.charts. to celebrate social workers.
Anyway, any Spring where I'm out of the helping profession is a reason to pause and to celebrate the underpaid saints that are still out there fighting the good fight. I've had the privilege of working with and for some of the most amazing, hardworking, resilient, and resourceful people. And I've seen ca-razy stuff. So I started to think of all the things that I have said in my 6 years with BSW after my name:
-"Please don't poop on the floor in front of me."
-"Well, actually in this case the snake in your hospital room IS real."
-"Stop drinking your vomit."
-"Yes, I'll be right out to the lobby as soon as the naked man who is kicking in our door is restrained."
-"I'm certain that the weather man isn't talking to you directly."
-"And that's when she turned her toothbrush into a shiv."
-"Don't you give me your marijuana."
-"I know it must have been akward buying condoms in front of your social worker, but at least you're being safe."
-"Well, the unit is closed because someone broke the sewer line when they fell out of the ceiling."
-"You hid a paperclip under your skin to sneak it into the unit?"
-"Don't tell me you didn't bring drugs in here. No lady needs NINE pocket knifes in her purse."
-"You spent ALL your food money on corn dogs?"
-"You can be stupid, just not in the middle of the day room."
-"Can you sign this receipt? I had to lock up your vibrator and handcuffs in the patient belonging room."
-"I'm actually kind of impressed that you made this crack pipe out of bandaids."
-"Well, they found you in the retention pond, so you're probably not going home anytime soon."
-"I know you sliced both your wrists to the bone, but I'm feeding you as fast as I can. By the way, what have you been doing all this time about going to the bathroom....?"
-"I believe mothering IS terribly hard, but you can't leave your baby at a Burger King."
-"Stop throwing books at me."
-"We had to get rid of your clothes you had on when you came into the ER because you had soaked them in kerosene."
-"I can let you USE the phone, I just can't let you HAVE the phone because someone used it to crack open the head of our supervisor."
-"This is the psychiatric unit, you'll just have to embrace hairy legs while you're here."
-"If you're going to stand at the nurses station you HAVE to put your penis back in your pants."
Way to pick the month where mania is off.the.charts. to celebrate social workers.
Anyway, any Spring where I'm out of the helping profession is a reason to pause and to celebrate the underpaid saints that are still out there fighting the good fight. I've had the privilege of working with and for some of the most amazing, hardworking, resilient, and resourceful people. And I've seen ca-razy stuff. So I started to think of all the things that I have said in my 6 years with BSW after my name:
-"Please don't poop on the floor in front of me."
-"Well, actually in this case the snake in your hospital room IS real."
-"Stop drinking your vomit."
-"Yes, I'll be right out to the lobby as soon as the naked man who is kicking in our door is restrained."
-"I'm certain that the weather man isn't talking to you directly."
-"And that's when she turned her toothbrush into a shiv."
-"Don't you give me your marijuana."
-"I know it must have been akward buying condoms in front of your social worker, but at least you're being safe."
-"Well, the unit is closed because someone broke the sewer line when they fell out of the ceiling."
-"You hid a paperclip under your skin to sneak it into the unit?"
-"Don't tell me you didn't bring drugs in here. No lady needs NINE pocket knifes in her purse."
-"You spent ALL your food money on corn dogs?"
-"You can be stupid, just not in the middle of the day room."
-"Can you sign this receipt? I had to lock up your vibrator and handcuffs in the patient belonging room."
-"I'm actually kind of impressed that you made this crack pipe out of bandaids."
-"Well, they found you in the retention pond, so you're probably not going home anytime soon."
-"I know you sliced both your wrists to the bone, but I'm feeding you as fast as I can. By the way, what have you been doing all this time about going to the bathroom....?"
-"I believe mothering IS terribly hard, but you can't leave your baby at a Burger King."
-"Stop throwing books at me."
-"We had to get rid of your clothes you had on when you came into the ER because you had soaked them in kerosene."
-"I can let you USE the phone, I just can't let you HAVE the phone because someone used it to crack open the head of our supervisor."
-"This is the psychiatric unit, you'll just have to embrace hairy legs while you're here."
-"If you're going to stand at the nurses station you HAVE to put your penis back in your pants."
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