Things are humming right along as we gather our paperwork for our homestudy. Just a few more copies here, a little proof-reading here and we'll be ready to ship it off.
And in the midst of all the adoption STUFF (homestudy, profile books, meetings) it's easy to get preoccupied with where we are in the moment. To get focused only on what it takes to GET a baby. I'm trying to remember that we're expectant parents too and that there will soon (a relative word after 5 years :) be a baby here with us. To remember that I need to prepare to mother, not just adopt.
So I read Baby Care books, create a baby registry on line, glean from other mothers. Prepare. These are joyful and happy times...after so much uncertainty, we have a course charted and work to do, and a baby to bring home.
And then, a simple comment, or thought, sneaks up and sweeps me off my feet.
Last week it was during a conversation with a friend about another expectant couple. It was innocent, and truthful. She said, "Oh, they are so good-looking, they will have SUCH a pretty baby."
Because, of course, their baby will look like them.
BAM!!
It hit home. Our baby probably won't look like us.
::: :::
And I always thought that with our recessive genes we were GUARANTEED to have a skinny little blue-eyed tow heads. I prayed they would get my dimples and Nathan's eyes.
But now, I'm learning to let those dreams go.
When I search the depths of our new-born's eyes, it won't be our genetics staring back at me.
Of course, our baby will be beautiful, and sweet, and loved beyond belief. They just might not LOOK like us. And I'm learning to embrace that.
I'll get to look for our heritage in other places.
When I see our baby crafting something out of nothing...that will be me.
When I see our little one laugh and act silly...that will be Nathan.
When I see him/her being a good friend, I will know that was us.
When our child is gentle and giving, it will be my reflection.
And when our darling is diligent, and hard-working, I will see my husband's impact.
When our baby folds their chubby little hands to pray...that is what we will pass on.
And we will know
that together,
we made SUCH
a pretty baby.
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