I understand...but... so

I used to think that conflict was avoidable...keep your head down...and then do whatever it was that you wanted to do in the first place once the offending party was gone....and then I hit 7th grade.

I no longer think that conflict is avoidable.

It's unhealthy to try to live without it.

And it seems that this week has been expecially filled with conflict. So I have been using the phrase in the title of this post almost every day it seems.

I learned it in college RA training and it is one of the most tangibly useful things I learned in any aspect of the very expensinve education.

example : I understand that there was a computer glich which signed me up for the wrong CPR class, but it was not my fault, so please don't yell at me.

I understand that you want to kill yourself right now, but things usually get better with medication and therapy, so please tell one of the staff if you start to think of specific ways you would want to harm yourself in the hospital.

So I pass it on to you...thank me later. It has all the aspects for effective conflict resolution...empathy, focus on the problem, and movement toward a solution...and easy to remember.