Have you ever seen "Rear Window?" If you've seen "disturbia" then you've seen a sensationalized version of this Hitchcock classic (and Shia Lewhoever is no Jimmy Stewart).
Anyway while I love me some Alfred movies, this one stands out with its artistic shots of the neighbors, suspenseful (but not scary) plot line, and of course, beautiful Grace Kelly in FABULOUS dresses.
And in my gimped up condition over the past few weeks. I feel that I too have been observing my neighbors...perhaps a little too closely if you were to ask the husband.
Here is what I have gathered:
Neighbor directly above is hardly ever home. I know this not because I have actually ever had a conversation with the man. Come to think of it, I couldn't even pick him out of a line up...which will probably be the first time I would have a face to face with the guy. Anyway...I know his habits because I can tell you which car is his. And I can tell you it is hardly ever there. But when it is, the loud bass and "Bwow Wow" music thumping down through the registers tell me that he likes porn...and lots of it. I also know that he is the only one to gave me a thank you note for the cookies I left on the doorsteps of all the apartment mates when we first moved in.
Neighbor in the penthouse just moved in about a month ago. I HAVE actually seen her. She is an older black lady with a nice car and fake flowers in her windows. She is quiet and does not have a dog....unlike her previous renter who would BOUND down the stairs in the wee hours of the morning and stand wearing day-glow flowered rain boots, fur-trimmed coat and hot pants while letting her dog do his business. but I digress...
Neighbor over one and up a floor has also just moved it. He is home just as much as I am which leaves me to think that he either A) is a bartender on the weekends or B) makes his living reselling all our NetFlix DVDs that mysteriously disappearing from the mail slots. He is single, but likes the ladies. I often see him at the pool surrounded by a cloud of smoke, beer bottles, and bikini-clad women. And last week he threw a beer can off his deck to get my attention...yes threw a beer can at me. He and two girls had somehow locked themselves out on his second-story deck. Only when they ran out of beer did they consider it a troubling situation and went into action to get help. By action I mean throwing a beer can at the neighbor below who was reading on her ground floor deck. A few phone calls and a couple of hours later a maintenance man with a master set of keys appeared and they were set free...er...back into his home. After I came back from the clubhouse, I yelled up to them to see if they needed anything. His response..."More beer!"
And the most troubling resident of all is the single dirty man who lives across from us. I believe that he is a drug dealer for the following reasons: He has more visitors to his apartment than the Field Museum of Natural History has daily. They all stay less that 10 minutes and they look shift and nervous. I made eye contact with one such visitor as I was en route to the laundry and I thought he was going to jump out of his presumably addicted skin. He is visited daily by an older-neatly groomed man who sports more gold chains than Mr. T and drives a Mercedes Benz. Sometimes he is quiet and sometimes he bangs loudly on the door and pushes said dirty neighbor back into the apartment when he answers the door. (I know this because I stand, one eye squenched shut, looking through the peep-hole in the door...I know no shame.) Neighbor owns no furniture and has no car. I got a glimpse of his empty apartment during the neighbors-locked-on-deck-beer-can-throwing incident. Neighbor also has a crew of the usual suspects who hang around his apartment. One has flagrantly flirted with me in the hallway and actually attempted to start a conversation with me while outside our apartment. And when I say outside, I mean HE was outside our porch and I was INSIDE, as in inside my own home. And on a completely unrelated note dirty neighbors dog peed on and quickly killed my two petunia plants.
Anyway...my husband does not like me spending this much time observing and analyzing our neighbors...he is soooo Grace Kelly. I on the other hand fine it imperative to know what..I mean...who I am living next to. I think I should invest in a Latina housekeeper...and some flash bulbs.
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