That's All

As we enter the time of waiting...
I don't want you to feel pity for us.
I have heard that sentiment expressed several times these past few weeks as I lay out our expected timeline for baby.

It won't be the typical 9 months, that is sure. It has already been 5 years. Eight months of paperwork behind us. Two more months til we are on the official list. And then another year or so of waiting.

And when people grasp that: what I share as hopeful (another year...really...that's all) most perceive as agony. And the frowns, pats on the back, "That must be awful!"s I encounter tell me that we (as culture and Church) do not do well with waiting.

There are days like yesterday, where I'm ready for the waiting to be over too. I told Nathan yesterday..."I'm ready for our baby. I need somebody to take care of." And of course, I'm so excited to have a little buddy to share meals with, take for walks, explore the library and parks. Someone to read books with and sing songs to. And tiny feet to tuck into footy pajamas before rocking them sweetly to sleep. Ready to pray over him/her, instead of praying FOR. Ready to discipline and set consistent boundaries (we even have our naughty step picked out). Ready to watch the world unfold before my baby's curious eyes.

But most of the time, I'm abandoned to the idea that my life is not my own. And therefore, I'm exactly where I need to be. We are where we need to be. When people look into my life, I want them to see joyful expectation, and peaceful confidence. Not someone who compares my life to others and demands my own way. Because we are blessed, and we will be blessed.

It just will take a bit of waiting, that's all.