I don't even remember his name.
He was in his late 20's even though he looked much older.
He was hospitalized in the later stages of AIDS, and was soon transferred to the Behavioral Health wing, because of the horrific hallucinations he suffered from once the sun went down.
He was my only patient those days. I spoon fed him eggs and grits. Helped him to the bathroom. Called for help when he saw visions of attackers and kept him from hurting himself when he broke the window.
One time he looked at me and croaked out, "I AM the prodigal son, you know."
He didn't get many visitors and we were isolated from the rest of the patients down a lonely hallway. I would sit beside his bed and read while he slept. He couldn't talk very much by this time but I overheard one of the other nurses mentioning that as a boy he used to sing every Sunday at church.
So one time while I was massaging lotion into his cracked and neglected feet, I asked him if I could sing with him.
"Hymns," he gasped.
So that afternoon, the choruses of "Victory in Jesus," "The Old Rugged Cross," and "Blessed Assurance" echoed off the walls of the Intensive Monitoring Unit.
By the time I started singing, "How Great Thou Art" he had joined in, moving his mouth along with the words. Eyes closed, tears rolled down his withered face. Until we got to the last verse.
When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow in humble adoration
And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!
He lept from his bed and raised his clenched fists in the air. I jumped from my chair thinking that he was having another psychotic episode. But then I saw him looking heavenward and singing strong and clear "take me home, what joy shall fill my heart."
He slowly sunk back down into the mattress, humming. He had a peaceful afternoon and a a good night. He eventually transferred back to the medical side of the hospital and I later heard that he slipped away one morning.
Though I can't remember his name, I'll never forget that moment of Grace. Witnessing a man praising God in the midst of death. I saw Joy in the depths of despair, Peace wracked with pain.
Blessed Assurance indeed.
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