Established

The little picture here has had a special meaning to me for a few years now. It is called "The Crooked Tree " and it first appeared in 1741 when Nicolas Andry published a book with the new word "orthopaedics" as the title. He was the first scientist to posit that bone was not a dead intity, but ws a living growing part of the body, the first to suggest that bone deformities could be corrected and straightened. And this book, this development, this picture led the way to my back being corrected. Orthopedics literally means "crooked child" and that is what I am: a crooked child.

Labels. How we define ourselves and present ourselves to the world. Honestly, if I were to be true to what I've been feeling these past few months, I think my sense of self has been wrapped around the pain I've been nursing. And with pain come the threads of fear and loss. Weaving their way into my every day, my waking and sleeping. I've been wrapped up in myself and tangled in insecurity.

While I've been feeling kind of crooked and broken for a while, I've been looking for strength. Looking to Nathan and friends. To other broken people who were never meant to be my only support. It's Christ alone who can strengthen me, and it's His strength I can secure myself and sense of self to.

So I savor the answers I get in treasures like Psalms 10:17: (NLT)

"Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them."

Helpless? Really...helpless? Hurting and unsure yes...but helpless?

Then I looked up the Hebraic root for that word "helpless" and here is what I found: poor, humble, afflicted, meek. Well, afflicted, maybe that applies a little more than I first thought. After all, PAIN has been my label since June.

And when I looked deeper into the word for "comfort" I found the meaning: to be established, be stable, be secure, be enduring. Oh boy is that what I need right now. More than just comforted, to be secured, lasting, stable and established. Not in just a physical sense, broken body wrapped in strength, but a spirit. Weary and fearful, made strong and well established.

So when I see this tree, this crooked tree, bound and secure, I think about Ps. 10:17: "O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear." (NASV) Oh Lord, comfort, secure, and establish this crooked child.