You might call me a prude.
And I'd be okay with that. I worked hard for that title.
You see, I had never slept with a man until I got married. And I don't mean just *aheam* sexually. (well, this prude had never done that either.) But I mean sleep...like closed my eyes and slept next to a man.
I had never done that.
Not in college. Not while dating. Not for a nap. When I was with my guy I was awake. And then we got married. And then we had to learn how to share a bed. A very small bed. It was a full size bed and a small full at that. I think it was 10" larger than a twin.
And I'm not going to lie to you, it was weird. I would wake up with a start and stare at him thinking, "There's a boy in MY bed!" and then tell myself, "It's okay, he's allowed to be there now." Yes it was weird, this sharing thing. I'm pretty sure for the first few months we slept ram-rod straight, not touching, afraid to disturb this other person. It took practice and time to get used to sharing.
It was uncomfortable, and it takes a lot of give, and take. Pulling of blankets and late night elbows to the back.
Then we got a queen bed, finally, after three years of marriage. And I don't ever want a King. I like that I have to touch my husband, we have to share space, communicate, agree, cuddle. I don't want to forget that he's there.
You see, I don't ever want to forget that there are two of us in this marriage. And he doesn't just have to fit in my bed, I need to make room for him in my life. My finances, my decisions, my time. They aren't single occupancy any more. And while it might be a messy process, this sharing, giving life IS marriage.
And that is why it makes me sad when I read that over one quarter of custom-designed home are made with two master bedrooms. Builders are predicting that that number will rise to over 60% by 2015.
While some make the decision to sleep separately for snoring, or tossing and turning reasons. There are those that want "their own space." Husbands and wives who want to stay up later, check e-mail, watch T.V., live a life without disturbing their spouses. We are becoming a society that values independence over interdependence. And yes, that makes me sad.
There is only one person who I get to share my life with. Only one person who gets to share my bed. So I never want to sleep alone. Snoring, cold feet and all, when I settle under the shoulder of my beloved, it's the best sleep I'll ever get.
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