-first of all you must go to the doctor's office.
-obtain referral from employee health for back specialist who can order a CT scan.
-get lost on way to doctor's office.
-swear.
-eventually get to doctor's office and receive order for the CT scan.
-ask receptionist who to contact in order to schedule CT scan.
-learn that she is of no help whatsoever.
-go home and call employer's benefits administrator.
-learn that you need to contact the workman's comp. administrator.
-call workman's comp. administrator.
-be informed that you need to call the central scheduling department of the hospital.
-call central scheduling department.
-learn that doctor was not specific enough in the written order.
-call doctor's office.
-get put on hold.
-learn that the receptionist will need to contact the radiologist at the office.
-stiff drink.
-receive call back from doctor's office stating that the new order has been faxed to the central scheduling dept.
-call central scheduling.
-learn that procedure must be verified by employer's benefits administrator.
-call and verify CT scan.
-call central scheduling again and actually schedule procedure.
-arrive 30 minutes early to hospital.
-go to information center.
-talk to elderly volunteer who has remembered his hair, forgotten teeth.
-nod as if understood directions and walk to desk marked "registration."
-explain that you are not going to hand over your insurance card because this is a worker's comp. procedure and you should not be charged.
-receive paperwork to fill out.
-take seat and wait.
-return paperwork to registration desk.
-be informed that you should take your seat and resume waiting.
-wait.
-get called into cubicle to actually register (sit while woman types furiously and avoids all eye contact.)
-return to seat in lobby to wait.
-hear name called and walk with hospital employee and an elderly couple to imaging suite.
-get passed by a snail.
-arrive at imaging suite and wait in waiting room.
-get called to CT room and lay on board.
-verbally answer the questions you were just asked at registration.
-repeat to self "I Love Modern Medicine...I Love Modern Medicine..."
-be scanned.
-ask that the results could be faxed to employee health.
-learn that CT technician is of no help whatsoever.
-call later with fax number to have results faxed to doctor.
-wait until scheduled appointment with doctor to learn results.
-move to Canada.
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